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March 2009

The Most Important Thing(s)

What's more important than money?
Is it your career, or a passionate hobby, or your life itself?
Not if you have kids.  If you have kids, the answer is obvious:  your kids are the most important things.  For some inexplicable reason, you would do anything to help them, at any cost to yourself, even if it makes no rational sense.  Even (if you're wise and strong enough) if it means "hurting" them in the immediate term to help them in the long run.  I don't travel for my job.  People who do what I do can make a lot more money doing the same thing if they're willing to live on the road 4-5 days a week.
Would my kids be better off with more money?  Well, they'd have more stuff, but they wouldn't have a dad.  We'd vacation in more expensive places, maybe have a bigger, newer house, wouldn't have to go into as much debt when college rolls around, retire a few years earlier.  But would any of that be as useful to them as having 2 parents instead of 1?  I struggle with that question on a regular basis, and I always come to the same conclusion.  It's almost to the point where it's no longer a "struggle" as much as it is a short-lived hypothetical fantasy about "what would we do if we had twice as much money?"  The list is endless, which leads to the obvious realization that no matter how much money you have, it cannot provide you with the most important thing in life to any parent, which is the feeling that you have done everything in your power to give them a solid foundation upon which to build the rest of their lives.
Kinda tough to build the best possible foundation when you're not on-site, isn't it?


Cyclical, or Linear?

Cycles can be represented as waves, oscillating back and forth, up and down, as a wavy line on a chart.
They can also be represented as circles, or wheels, as in a Carbon Cycle, a Circle of Life, or any repeating process where inputs lead to outputs and eventually end up with the final output leading back into the circle as yet another input to begin the cycle anew again.
Is human development cyclical, or is it linear?  Does history repeat itself, with there truly being "nothing new under the sun," or are we continually writing new pages in the story of us all, making "progress," as it were?  We can all agree on the fact that none of us knows how or when it will all end; in fact, we can't even agree on if it will end, can we?
Is it a big game of Sorry, where you try to end up safely Home before everyone else and win?  Or is it Monopoly, where you continually pass Go, pay rent, buy things, lose things, go to jail, get out of jail, caught in a never-ending hamster wheel of an existence of doing your best to accumulate more and better properties than the people you are playing against - I mean, with?

The Indians have a word for the cyclical view, and it is "Samsara."  It is what Gautama was trying to escape when he gave up his princely existence and struck out on his path to enlightenment, eventually finding his way there and becoming known to humanity as the Buddha.  The meaning of Samsara is nuanced, so look it up at Wikipedia or Google it or whatever you feel like doing to research, but the gist of it is the never-ending circle/wheel of existence/suffering.  The Hindus believed that we were trapped within it, but the Buddha sought a way out.
Many of us to this day are seeking a way out of our own personal cycles of misery, the daily grind of existence, but to many of those people I would say, simply, change your perception.  Be mindful of what goes on around you, and find the joy in it.  It is there.  Yes, so is the pain and the suffering, but the wonder is what you are after.  Look at a small boy on an asphalt playground with old, rusty basketball chain nets, nefarious characters hanging out, wearing worn out shoes and clothes, looking like he's missed some meals.  Pathetic?  Well, really look at him now; what is he doing?  What is his expression, his countenance?  Is he running around the blacktop with reckless abandon, head thrown back, sweaty hair blowing behind him as he zooms 100 miles per hour, driven by a joyous source unknown to you but clearly consuming him?  Is he far more exhilirated and life-loving right now at this very moment than you could ever be?  Perhaps he is.  Are you seeing the silver lining?  He is.  Or are you overshadowed by the cloud?  The choice is yours.